Elliot Blitzer.
Okay, we'll get him on the phone and we'll arrange a meeting...
so we can get through all this getting-to-know-you stuff.
- Where ? - Where should we meet ?
- Roller coaster. - Roller coasters.
So, you got, uh--you got $500,000 worth of cola...
that you're unloading for $200,000.
- You want an animal cracker ? - Um, thanks.
Wait. Save the gorillas.
Thanks.
That's all right. Anyway, thanks.
So, you got--you got $500,000 worth of cola...
that you're unloading for $200,000.
''Unloading.'' That is a hell of a way to describe the bargain of a lifetime.
Where did you get it ?
Where did I get it ?
I, uh-- I grow it on my windowsill.
See, the light's really good up there. I'm up high enough off the street...
so you can't see it.
- It works perfectly. - Yeah.
Where, really-- where does it come from ?
- Where does it come from ? Coca leaves. - Yeah.
- You know what ? I'm out of here. - Elliot, chill out.
Sit down here. All right ? We're both here.
We might as well enjoy the ride. I'll tell you, okay ? But keep it quiet.
If Dick didn't ensure me you're good people, I'd just tell you, ''None of your fucking business.''
- Okay, okay, okay. - This is gonna be fun.
Let's go !
[ Clarence ] The truth of the matter is, I got a friend in the department.
What department ?
''What department ?'' What do you think, eight ball ?
- The police department ? - Give the man a prize !
About a year and a half ago, this friend of mine got access to the evidence room,
and he snagged this coke, but he's a good cop with a wife and a kid.
So he held on to it for about a year and a half,
- until he found a guy he could trust. - And he trusts you ?
Yeah. We were in 4-H together. We've known each other since childhood. I'm handling sales.
He's my silent partner. He knows if I get fucked up, I won't drop dime on him.
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh. - Okay? Now, no further, you understand?
He's kind of paranoid. I didn't tell you nothing. You didn't hear nothing.
I didn't hear nothing !
Here we go !
Ride it out, baby !
Yeah !
We're going in for another one ! Hang on, Elliot ! Whoo !
Oh, yeah, we got this puppy. This was a good idea.
Elliot looks a little green.
Elliot, do I look like a beautiful blond with big tits...
and an ass that tastes like French vanilla ice cream ?
What ?
Do I look like a beautiful blond with big tits...
and an ass that tastes like French vanilla ice cream ?
No.
No. Okay, then why are you telling me all this bullshit, huh ?
- What, you wanna fuck me ? - [ Dick ] Clarence.
- He's sick. - Let me handle this, all right ?
Look. You know what ? Just get it straight.
Lee is not into taking risks, okay ?
He's got a couple of guys. He's been dealing with them for years.
They're reliable, they're dependable, and they're safe.
Riddle me this, Batman.
If you're all so much in love with each other, what the hell are you doing here?
I'm sure you got better things to do with your time...
than hang around upside down on a roller coaster all day.
Your guy is interested because with that much shit at his fingertips,
he could playJoe-fucking-Hollywood until the wheels come off.
He can sell it. He can snort it.
He can play Santa Claus with it as far as I'm concerned.
At the price he's paying, he's gonna be able to afford to just throw it around.
He's gonna be everybody's best friend, all right ?
I mean, I'm not putting him down here.
It's his money. Let him do whatever the hell he wants.
But don't expect me and my friends to hang around forever,
waiting for you guys to grow some guts.
[ Phone Ringing ]
- Yeah, hello ? - Hi, Lee.
Elliot, it's Sunday. Can you tell me why I'm talking to you on Sunday ?
I don't see enough of you all week, I gotta talk to you on Sunday too ?
I'm with that party that you wanted me to get together with, Lee.
- You know who I'm talking about ? - I don't believe this.
Elliot, why the hell are you talking to me on my phone about that ?
Well, because I'm standing-- I'm standing with the guy,
and he insists on talking to you.
Are you out of your fucking mind ?
He said that if I didn't get you on the phone, he would--
Hello, Lee. It's Clarence. At last we speak.
First of all, Lee, I'm a really big fan of yours.
That's why I wanna open Dr. Zhivago in L.A.
And I need you and your abilities to distribute it.
Uh, Clarence. Uh--
I don't know, Clarence. Dr. Zhivago is a pretty big movie.
The biggest movie you've ever dealt with, Lee.
We're talking a lot of film here.
A man would have to be an idiot not to be a little bit cautious about a movie like that.
And, Lee, you are no idiot.
No, no. I'm not saying I'm not interested, Clarence.
Being a distributor is not what I'm all about. I'm a movie producer, you know ?
I am on this earth to make good movies.
Nothing more and nothing-- well, maybe less sometimes.
Hey !
Choose a fucking lane !
No, not you.Just some idiot-- Don't give me the finger !
I'll fucking have you killed !
The bottom line is, I am not Paramount. You know what I'm saying ?
I got a select few distributors I deal with.
I buy their little movies, and I accomplish what I wanna accomplish...
and get the fuck out of there.
Very businesslike, very easy and very little risk, Clarence.
Lee, we're talking Dr. Zhivago. This will be packing 'em in for a year and a half.
Two years. That is two years you're not gonna have to deal...
with anybody else's movie but mine.
Nobody's but yours. Well, what is the rush here ?
I just wanna be able to announce this deal at Cannes.
If I had time for a courtship, Lee, I would. I'd take you out, hold your hand, kiss your cheek.
But I'm not in that position.
I need to know right now if you and I are in bed together or not.
If you want my movie, you're gonna have to come to terms with your fear and desire.
Uh-huh. Fear and desire, huh, Clarence ?
Don't you know that my films have grossed more than 2.8 billion, Clarence?
- Let me talk to Elliot. Let me talk to Elliot. - You wanna talk to Elliot ?
Elliot, he wants to talk to you.
- Hi, Lee. - Elliot, where do you know this guy from ?
He's, uh-- He's a friend of Dick's, remember ?
Who the fuck is Dick ?
You-- You-- You want me to... suck his dick ?
- No. Who the fuck is Dick ? - Oh, who the fuck is Dick ?
- Yeah. - Dick is my friend. He's in my acting class.
- You told him I'm an actor ? - Is he any good ? Is he talented ?
Really ? How does Dick know this guy ?
- Tell him-- - They-- They grew up together.
Okay, uh, Wednesday at the hotel, 3:00.
Bring the whole fucking cast, all right ?
Elliot, don't call me here anymore, especially not on Sunday, all right ?
- What did he say? -Just hold on a second.
- Did you tell him-- - Shut up for a second. Hey, you guys.
This is what's gonna happen.
3..00, Beverly Ambassador. He wants to see everybody. Okay?
And he'll talk to you. If after talking to you he likes you,
wants to deal with you, he'll deal with you.
If he doesn't, he'll say fuck you, and he'll walk out of the room.
- Did you tell him-- - Shut up for a second.
And he wants a sample bag.
- No problem on all counts. - Great.
Did you tell him I was an actor?
- Yes, I told him. - You told him I was good ?
Yeah, I lied.
[ TVPlaying ]
- Hi. - How you doing ?
- Oh, pretty good. - You Dick ? Dick Ritchie ?
No. No, he's not here right now.
- You live here ? - Yes, I do.
You're sort of, uh, roommates ?
Exactly roommates.
Maybe you can help me. I'm looking for a friend of mine.
- Sure. - Clarence Worley from Detroit ?
- He's traveling with a real pretty girl named Alabama ? - Oh, yeah, man, I know 'em.
- They've been by here. - You've seen 'em ?
- Mm-hmm. - They staying here ?
No, they're staying at the...
Safari Motor-- Motel Inn.
- Safari Motel. - Safari Motel ?
Yeah.
How do you know that ? Have you been over there ?
No. They were here,
and they said that they were going to go there.
Then they went.
- Yeah ? - Yeah. Safari-- Safari Motel.
- Safari Motel. - Uh-huh.
Hey, you wanna watch some TV ? They might be back here.
- No. No, thank you. Thank you, though. - Okay.
- You take care. I might be back. - Yeah.
Good. Be cool.
Don't condescend to me, man.
I'll fucking kill you, man.
I'm so proud of you. Did I do my part okay ?
- Alabama, you were perfect. - Like a ninja ?
Like a ninja. I'm gonna go grab us something to eat.
I'm gonna go jump in the tub and get all wet and slippery and soapy...
and hop in that water bed and watch X-rated movies...
till you get your ass back in my lovin' arms.
Hurry back now.
We now return to Bullitt, already in progress.
^^ You give your love ^^
^^So sweetly ^^^^
Hi.
[ Giggles ] Hi !
Hi.
- Cigarette ? - No.
[ Giggles ]
That's a very nice outfit.
Oh. This ?
I got this in Las Vegas, Nevada.
Alabama, where's our coke, and, uh, where's Clarence ?
When's he coming back ?
I'm sorry. I think you have the wrong room.
My name is Sadie.
We don't have any Coke, but there's a Pepsi machine down the hall.
I don't know anybody named Clarence, but perhaps my husband does.
You can ask him, 'cause he'll be home in a minute.
He plays football.
He's just at practice.
- Give me your hand. - Okay.
You are unbelievably cute.
Thank you. Thanks.
Let me see those eyes.
What a face.
Do me a favor. Turn around for me.
Okay.
No, go the other way.
Okay.
^^ [ Humming ]
- Ooh. That hurts, don't it ? - Uh-huh.
Get on your feet, sweetie. You ain't hurt that bad.
Now, where's our coke ? Where's Clarence ? And when's he coming back ?
Okay. Okay.
Fuck you.
Fuck me.
What's the matter, baby, huh ?
Can't breathe ?
[ Groaning ]
You better get used to that.
- Mmm. Smells like hamburgers in here. - Hi.
Tell me, what is the biggest, fattest hamburger you guys got ?
That would be Steve's double chili cheeseburger.
- Give me two of them bad boys, two chili fries... - Uh-huh.
- and, uh, two large Diet Cokes. - Anything else ?
Come here. Look at yourself! Look ! Take a good look !
You think your boyfriend would go for this shit ? If you do, you're fucking stupid.
You're a very pretty girl, but you ain't gonna be very pretty for very long.
I'm gonna ask you a fucking question,
and you give me the right fucking answer !
Now,
where's my coke ?
Turn around. Turn around.
Answer me !
- Come on. - Mmm--
- You got a lot of heart, kid. - [ Laughing ]
[ Clarence ] Now, that is a great issue.
You gotten to the story on Elvis yet ?
No, I hadn't.
That is probably the single best piece I have ever read on Elvis Presley...
in my entire life.
Look. It tries to pin down what the attraction is after all these years.
It covers the whole spectrum.
Talks to the fans, people who grew up with him, people who love his music.
Then there's the fanatics. Right ?
I don't know about you, but they give me the creeps.
- Yeah, yeah, I see what you mean. - I mean, look at her.
It looks like she fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
[ Coughing ]
Now, the first time you kill somebody, that's the hardest.
I don't give a shit if you're fucking wired up orJack the Ripper.
Remember that guy in Texas ? The guy in that fucking tower, killed all them people ?
I bet you green money, that first little black dot he took a bead on,
that was the bitch of the bunch.
First one is tough. No fucking fooling.
The second one ain't no fucking Mardi Gras either,
but it's better than the first, 'cause you still feel the same thing, except it's diluted.
You know, it's-- it's better.
I threw up on the first one. You believe that ?
- [ Groans ] - Then the third one--
The third one is easy. You level right off.
That's no problem. Now--
Shit.
Now I do it just to watch their fucking expression change.
I don't fucking believe it.
Did you put it under the bed?
Uh-huh. [ Laughing ]
I can't believe it. You put it under the fucking bed.
I didn't look under the fucking bed.
I can't believe you put it under the fuckin' bed,
and I can't believe I didn't look under the fuckin' bed.
I'm gettin' fuckin' old.
[ Cackles ] Journey's end, baby.
Snow at the end of the rainbow.
[ Groans ]
One less thing I gotta fuckin' worry about.
[ Coughing ]
This is it, baby.
Moment of truth.
[ Cocks Gun ]
[ Breathing Heavily ]
[ Chuckles ]
You got a lot of heart, kid. You know that ?
[ Whimpering ]
Wanna play?
Hmm ? Is that what you want ?
- [ Grunts ] - You wanna play with Daddy?
Come on. Come on. I'll give you one shot 'cause I like you.
Stick it in me, baby. Come on. Stick it in Daddy.
Stick it in me. Go ahead.
- Come on ! Come on ! Come on ! - [ Screaming ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Groaning ] Motherfucker !
- All right. No more Mr. Fuckin' Nice Guy. - Oh, God.
[ Screaming ]
What do you think of that, baby? [ Cackles ]
- What do you think about that ? What do you think about that ? - Wait ! Wait !
- What ? - [ Laughing ]
-Hey, what the fuck are you laughing at? -You look ridiculous!
[ Laughing Continues ]
Come here! I look fuckin'ridiculous ? Get up! Laugh it up!
Come on, laugh it up ! You were in hysterics a minute ago ! Laugh !
- You like that, don't you ? - Fuck you !
Shit ! Fuck !
[ Shouting ]
- [ Screaming ] - [ Groans ]
- [ Screaming ] - [ Screaming ]
[ Shouting ]
[ Sobbing ]
[ Screaming ]
Fuck ! Come on. We gotta go. Baby, we gotta go.
- [ Screams ] -Jesus Christ !
Come on, darlin'. We gotta get the fuck out of here.
- [ Sobbing ] - Come on. Shh !
Come on. The cops are gonna be here any fuckin' second.
Fuck !
Fuck ! Come on.
Fuck. Come on. I'm sorry.
[ Horn Honking ]
Fuck ! Fuck !
I'm sorry. Oh, fuck !
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- [ Horn Honking ] - Get the fuck out of the way !
^^ Those eyes, those thighs They're part ^^
^^^^[ Continues, Indistinct ]
- [ Siren Wailing ] - Oh, fuck!
- Fuck ! - [ Screams ] What ?
I don't fuckin' believe this ! Goddamn it ! I fucking knew it !
[ Siren Continues ]
I should have my goddamn head examined for driving like this.
white is the salt
- What can I do ? - Take this. Hold this.
-What, are you high ? No. -Fucking put this in your purse.
- I'm not gonna put that shit in my purse. - He's not gonna search you.
You didn't do anything. Just put it in your bra.
- I'm not wearing one. - Please ! He's almost here ! Just put it in your pants !
- No. - You are the one that wanted to drive fast.
Read my lips. No !
- After all I did for you, you fucking whore. - Asshole.
Who the fuck do you think you're-- [ Laughing Hysterically ]
[ Laughing Continues ]
- [ Police Radio Chatter ] - Hi.
Look, dick-head, it's your bad luck that we caught you speeding,
and it's your bad luck that you had a bag of uncut cocaine.
- Not a tiny little vial. - A fuckin' baggy.
Hey,you got caught. It's all fun and fuckin'games till you get caught.
But now we got you, okay, Mr. Elliot Fuckin' Actor. You just made the big time.
- You're no longer an extra. - Or a bit player.
- Or a supporting actor. - You're a fuckin'star.
You're a fucking star, and you're gonna be playing your one-man show nightly...
for the next two fuckin' years for a captive audience !
Listen to this. You get out in a few years, meet some old lady,
you'll get married, and you'll be so understanding to your wife's needs...
because you'll know what it feels like to be a woman.
You'll only want to fuck her in the ass because that pussy won't be tight enough anymore.
Good point, Detective. Right ? Fuckin'faggot.
Krinkle, this is it. We got it, and it's all ours.
- You talk about fallin' into something. - We got it.
Will both you idiots shut up ? I can't understand shit.
What happened ? What are you talking about ?
Okay. A patrol car pulls a guy over for speedin', right ? Suspect's covered with coke.
They bring the suspect to me and Nicholson, and we go to work on him.
- ''Nicholson and I.'' - What's the fuckin' difference ?
So we go to work on the guy, and we know something's rotten in Denmark,
'cause this guy's fuckin' stupid, and he's got a big bag of coke and it's uncut.
And you ain't gonna fuckin' believe what he's got to say.
Seems a cop from some department-- we don't know which one--
stole a half a million dollars of coke from the property cage.
Had been sittin'on the shit for a year and a half.
- The cops got this weirdo who's a front for him. - Suspect's words.
Our guy, Elliot Blitzer, he's making a deal between them and his boss,
a big-time fuckin'movie producer named Lee Donowitz.
He did the movie Coming Home in a Body Bag.
- A Vietnam movie ? Good fuckin' movie. - Yeah.
- Fuckin' ''A.'' - Great fuckin' movie.
- So, you believe him ? - I believe he believes him.
This guy's too fuckin' rattled to be lyin'. He'd roll over...
on his mommy, daddy, two-pantied granny and the King of Siam if he had anything on them.
This guy was a sissy. This rabbit will do anything not to do any time.
You know what he'll do ? He'll wear a wire.
- He'll wear a wire ? - He'll wear a wire. We talked to him.
Dirty cops. We gotta get Internal Affairs on this.
I don't give a shit who you bring in. You can bring in the militia, L.A. Thunderbirds,
the ghost of Steve fuckin' McQueen, ten fuckin' Roman gladiators.
I don't give a shit as long as me and Todd get credit for the bust.
Listen, we found him. We just want the fuckin'collar.
That's it. End of story.
- You got it. - Fuckin' ''A.''
- Have I ever told you how much I hate airports ? - Mm-mmm.
- See, I used to live by one back in Dearborn. - Uh-huh.
Really frustrating living next to an airport when you ain't got shit.
[ Groans ]
All day long I'm seeing and hearing people...
doing exactly what I wanna be doing but couldn't.
What ?
- Starting new lives, leaving Detroit. - [ Chuckles ]
Vacations, business trips.
- Fun, fun, fun. - [ Groans ]
- You all right ? - Mm-hmm.
You and me, we can jump on any one of those planes out there and go anywhere we want.
It gives me a whole new outlook. Love airports now.
Yeah, you ain't kiddin'. We got our lives to start over.
We should go somewhere where we can really start from scratch.
- I've been in America all my life. - [ Chuckles ]
I've always wanted to see what TV in other countries looks like.
Where do you think we should go, my little turtle dove ?
Cancun.
Cancun ? Why Cancun ?
It's got a nice ring to it. It sounds like a movie.
Clarence and Alabama Go to Cancun. Don't you think ?
In my movie, darling, you get top billing.
Don't you worry about nothin', all right ?
It's all gonna work out for us.
We deserve it.
Floyd,you're sure that's how you get to the Beverly Ambassador?
Yeah, man, I'm positive.
- Yeah, well, if we get lost, that's your ass. - Clarence--
- Why don't you get out of my beer and get a fuckin'job ? - Yeah, okay.
- Can we go ? - We're out the door.
I gotta meet Elliot in the lobby. I don't want to be late.
I just want to make sure we got everything. Let's go.
[ Chattering, Chuckling ]
- Yes ? - I'm out. I'm out, Floyd.
- Are you here ? No, he's not here. - I'm out.
- Wait, wait. Let me get this. - Come on !
- Okay, I-- Fuck ! - Hello ?
Hi, Catherine. I was just walkin' out--
- What ? - Do you know what time it is ?
Serious ? She said that ?
What'd she say ? Come on.
- Yo, Catherine, thank you. Thank you. - Ask him what time it is.
- You got the time ? - I'm gonna talk to you tomorrow.
- Hey, man, can you get me some food ? - All right.
Come on. We gotta go. Come on.
I got the part.
- Wow ! - I got the part !
- That's great, man. - That's great. That's wonderful.
They didn't even want a callback.
I can't believe it. That's great.
That's so cool. Way to go.
- I got a 7:00 call. - That's great.
Come on, let's go. I want to hear all about it in the car, okay ? Come on.
- Hey, Clarence. - What ?
Nothin'.
- Forget it. - All right. Come on.
[ Alabama ] Come on!
Hey, get some-- get some beer...
- and some-- - [ Door Closes ]
and some cleaning products.
[ Man On TV] His legacy lives on.
[ Man On TV] That was Bob Henderson with a touchdown.
[ Continues, Indistinct ]
I'm losin' a fuckin' fortune over here.
- [ Speaking Italian ] - [ Chuckling ]
[ Italian Continues ]
You talkin' to me, you fuckin' wop, you ?
- [ Both Speaking Italian ] - Fuckin'--
[ TVContinues ]
- [ Groaning ] - [ Nicholson ] You're okay.
- [ Dimes ] Put your jacket on. - Put yourjacket on.
- Ready ? - Yeah.
Put your jacket on. One sleeve at a time.
- It's a big game now, Elliot. - [ Exhales Forcefully ]
- It's okay. Come on. You all right ? - No.
[ Chuckling ] Elliot, look at me.
Look at me. You comfortable ?
Am I comfortable ? I've got a,
like, you know, brick in... my scrotum.
That's the best place for it. If they pat you down, they're not gonna search your balls.
- Okay. You think they might see this, perhaps ? - No, it's okay.
- When you stand up, it'll be okay. Elliot. - Okay. Yeah.
- Elliot, say something. - [ Exhales Forcefully ]
-Just-- - Okay. Hi. How are you ?
My name's Elliot, and I'm with the Cub Scouts of America.
We're selling uncut cocaine to get to the jamboree.
- [ Dimes ]Just talk regular. - Stop fuckin' around.
-I can't believe I'm doing this. -You get that shit ?
We're gonna be right down the hall, monitoring you the whole time.
What happens if somebody does something you can't hear,
like pulls out a gun and puts it to my fucking eye ?
We've done this a thousand times.
We know what we're doing, okay ? We're the best.
Now, listen. No fuckin' around.
Anything happens, we'll be in there like fuckin' gangbusters.
You gotta remember something. You don't wanna go to jail. Do you wanna go to jail ?
No, I don't wanna go to jail.
So what do we gotta do ? We gotta put your boss in jail, okay ?
[ Dimes ] And to do that, we've got to show in court,
beyond a reasonable doubt, that this man,
a very respectable man in the Hollywood community, is also dealing cocaine.
-We've got to prove it in court, and you've gotta do it. -That's what we're doing here.
You're gonna be okay. You're not gonna get hurt.
So what you've gotta do-- you've gotta get him to admit...
- on tape, all right ? - Uh-huh.
That he's buyin' this coke. Okay, champ ?
- Get ahold of yourself. You'll be okay. - Okay.
I'm gonna get some coffee.
You really got that playin' basketball ?
Yep, I got elbowed right in the eye.
Then, as it that's not enough, I got hurled the ball right when I'm not lookin'. Wham !
- Right in my face. - You should be careful.
- [ Both Chuckling ] - I should.
Clarence, what the fuck did you bring that for?
- In case. - In case of what ?
I don't know. What the hell do you want me to say ?
Look, Clarence, Lee Donowitz is not a pimp.
I know that. But one thing this last week has taught me,
it's better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it.
Paging Mr. Sherek.
- Sherek. - He's over at the bar.
There he is.
[ Exhaling ]
Elliot, your motivation is to stay out of jail.
- Easy, easy, easy. - Hey.
- Hi. - Hi.
I guess it's about that time, huh ?
Yeah.
Here we go.
[ Elevator Bell Dings ]
[ Sighs ]
You're an actor. Act, motherfucker.
- Elliot ? - Yeah ?
- Get on your knees. - Oh, no.
- What ? - I said, get on your fuckin' knees !
Shut the fuck up ! I know what the fuck I'm doin'.
- You think I'm pretty fuckin' stupid, don't you ? - No.
Don't you fuckin' lie to me, you motherfucker !
He's bluffing you, Elliot ! Can't you see that ?
I want to hear you say, ''Clarence, you are--''
Shut up ! Say it, goddamn it ! I wanna hear you say it !
''Clarence, you are without a doubt, the dumbest motherfucker I've ever seen !''
- Say it ! - Dumb fucker !
-Apparently, I'm not as dumb-- Shut up ! -He didn't do nothin' !
Apparently, I'm not as dumb as you fuckin' think I am, am I ?
- No. - What the fuck is waiting for us up there ?
- What the fuck's waiting for us ? - He's gonna shoot him.
Tell me, or I'm gonna pump two in your face right here.
- He's not gonna shoot him. - [ Shouts ]
- Motherfuck-- - He's gonna shoot him.
Like Nick Curry used to say, if I'm wrong, I swear to God I'll fucking apologize !
Something's amiss. I can feel it. If anything out of the ordinary goes down,
you are gonna be the first one shot.
-He didn't do anything ! What the fuck-- -Shut up!
I'm gonna blow this motherfucker away. Fuck you !
[ Screams ] I wish somebody would just come and get me,
because I don't like this anymore !
Get ahold of yourself, you fuckin' sissy !
I really wish somebody would just come and take me away !Just take me away !
Hang in there, will you ? Goddamn it !
I can't take this ! I'm sorry, but I just can't ! I wish somebody...
would just come to my rescue, and everything would be all right !
Elliot ? Elliot ?
- What ? - I'm sorry, all right ?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Friends ?
- I'm sorry. - [ Sobbing ]
- What's with this guy ? - [ Elliot ] Quit playing around.
[ Clarence ] I wasn't playing around. I just had to be sure.
- That's all. I'm sure now, okay ? - [ Muttering ]
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.
[ Laughing ] Oh, man !
I like this Clarence kid. This fuckin' guy's crazy.
^^^^[ Hard Rock ]
- [ Knock At Door ] - [ Coughing ]
Yeah.
- Aw ! - ^^I got up feelin'so down ^^
- [ Laughs ] Oh, man. - ^^I got off bein'sold out ^^
- Are you Dick Ritchie ? - Uh, no.
- ^^But the story's getting old now ^^ - Do you know a Clarence Worley ?
- Yes. - Do you know where we can find him ?
- Yes, I do. Oh. - ^^I just looked in the mirror ^^^^
Well, where ?
- At the Beverly Ambassador. - ^^^^[ Continues, Indistinct ]
- Where's that ? - Well,
you go--
No. Yeah. Go down-- Go down Beach--
You guys want to smoke a bowl or--
Oh. Go down Beachwood and drive a while,
and then you're gonna turn right, okay ?
And then you go, and you keep drivin; and you keep drivin'.
[ Knocking ]
- Hello, Elliot. - Monty.
Are these your friends ?
Yeah. Yeah.
You could say that. Everybody, this is Monty.
Hi. Come on in. Lee's in the can. He'll be out in a quick.
Holy shit. Look at this. Do you believe this ?
- It's a helicopter. - Sorry. Nothing personal.
- Clarence. - [ Chuckles ]
There ain't gonna be a need to search me. All you're gonna find is this right here.
What compelled you to bring that along ?
I guess the same thing that compelled you guys...
to bring heavy artillery to a business meeting.
- I'll take that. - Well, you're gonna have to.
Oh, hi.
Everybody's here. Elliot, who's who ?
[ Clears Throat ] Uh--
Uh, that's Dick on the end there.
Oh, that's Dick! Elliot tells me you're quite gifted.
And, uh, Alabama in the middle.
- Hello. - Clarence on the end.
- Lee, this guy is-- - Boris, please. I'm meeting people right now.
- Mr. Donowitz? - Come on, Clarence. Don't insult me. Call me Lee.
- Lee ? - Boris, shut the fuck up.
Come on, everybody. Don't be shy. Come on in.
Okay, uh, Lee.
- Lee. - Lee.
- That's right, Lee. - I gotta tell you, I really am a big fan.
Coming Home in a Body Bag is my favorite movie of all time.
After Apocalypse Now, I think that is the best Vietnam movie ever made.
- Wow. Thank you very much, Clarence. - Lee.
- What ? - This guy's packin'.
Really ?
Well, I've been pretty scared about this whole thing.
But I'm fairly confident you're just here to do business. I don't want to be a wise guy.
If you want, I'll take my gun out, lay it on the table.
It's up to you.
Mm, no, I don't think that's necessary. Boris, be nice.
Make everybody some coffee, okay ?
- It's a pleasure to meet you. - Nice to meet you too.
Honey, sit down. Relax. Relax.
- Elliot,you look like shit. - Oh, I'm sorry.
I mean, it's completely disgusting.
Um, I need to get a quick signature. It would be great--
- Whatever Bonnie wants. - Okay.
- [ Lee ] Like my dailies there, Clar? - [ Chuckles ]
- Is that what these are ? Yeah, they're great. - You like 'em ?
Better fuckin' be great. They cost me enough.
- What'd that day cost me ? - $3 57,000.
Elliot, I swear to God, somebody is stealing from me.
[ Clarence ] What's this one called anyway?
- It's a sequel to Body Bag. - Really ?
We don't have a title yet. What does Joe like ?
Uh, Body Bags II.
Ooh, that's imaginative. I've got more taste in my penis.
This guy's really fuckin' funny.
You know, most of these movies that win a lot of Oscars, I can't stand them.
They're all safe, geriatric coffee-table dogshit.
We park our cars in the same garage. It's all right.
All those assholes make are unwatchable movies from unreadable books.
Mad Max, that's a movie. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, that's a movie.
Rio Bravo, that's a movie. And Coming Home in a Body Bag, that was a fuckin'movie.
It was the only movie up to that time that won a lot of Oscars with balls.
- I mean, since Deer Hunter. - I don't believe you.
Do you like a little coffee with your sugar, or what ?
Lee, I'm not satisfied till the spoon stands straight up.
[ Laughing ] Give me a coffee, will you ?
My Uncle Roger and UncleJerry, both of whom were in 'Nam, saw Coming Home in a Body Bag.
They said to me, Clarence, that is the most accurate Vietnam film they'd ever seen.
When veterans in that bullshit war say that about my project,
it makes the whole thing worthwhile.
Here's to you.
My friend-- I'm calling you my friend. I just met you. You know why ?
I think 'cause we got the same interests.
You know what I'd like to do right now ? I'd like to see Dr. Zhivago.
- [ Chuckles ] - Where is it ?
Is there a fucking doctor in the house, or what ?
Hang on a second. Lee, when you see this, you are gonna shit.
- [ Lee ] I better. - Bingo.
- What's the guy's name ? - Donowitz.
^^ When somebody loves you ^^
^^It's no good unless you love them ^^
Uh, Lee, that is all practically uncut.
If you so desire, you can cut that a hell of a lot more.
Don't worry. I'll desire. Boris, get me another cup of coffee, will you ?
- Me too, Boris. - I have to hand it to you, this is not nose garbage.
It's quality stuff.
Perfect merchandise.
The only trouble is, whenever I'm offered a deal that's too good to be true,
it's because it's a lie.
- [ Man ]Jesus, what's going on ? - [ Gun Cocks ]
^^^^[ Continues, Indistinct ]
- Why don't you convince me you're on the level ? - Convince him.
If he don't bite, we ain't got shit except possession.
Boris, we got all kinds of sandwich shit back there. Make something for somebody.
We got lean pastrami, nice rye. Anybody want anything ?
- You got any aspirin ? - Yeah, sure. Get him that.
Well, uh, Lee, it's like this.
You're getting the bargain of a lifetime because I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
You're used to dealing with professionals, and I'm not. I'm a rank amateur.
What the fuck's goin' on ? What the fuck's goin' on ?
I can take that and sell it a little bit at a time. Make a lot more money.
- What's going on,Joe ? - Elliot's too far away.
- This is the whole ball game. The game is set! - He's too far away!
I'm not a drug dealer. I'm not saying you're a drug dealer.
But you're a movie producer. You got access to all kinds of money and shit like that.
- [ Static Continues ] - [ Man ] Shit!
- Joe,you are fuckin'killing me.Joe-- - Wait, wait. Wait. Shh !
I cannot get a million for it, but you can.
All right ? So I'll sell it to you for 200,000.
You go make a million with it.
Shit, it's all found money to me anyway,you know?
- [ Clarence, Indistinct ] - There he is.
- [ Exhales ] - Shh !
[ Chuckles ] Me and my wife, we're minimum-wage kids.
$ 200,000, that means the world to us.
Elliot tells me that you're fronting for a dirty cop.
Uh, Elliot wasn't supposed to tell you anything.
He's not a dirty cop. He's a good cop.
He saw his chance, and he took it, that's all.
Why does he trust you ?
Well, we grew up together, that's why.
Clarence, if you don't know shit,
then why does he think that you can sell it ?
[ Chuckles ] I bullshitted him.
[ Laughing ]
You are nuts!
He's a wild man, this kid Clarence. I like him.
- You're wild ! I love you ! I love this guy. - Hey, Lee.
He bullshitted him. You believe this kid ? I love him.
Elliot, I love this kid. Monty, get the money.
That's it, fellas. Let's get these sons of bitches.
- [ Sniffs, Clears Throat ] - [ Lee ] Now, wait, wait.
I forgot. Excuse me. What is your part in this again ?
- I'm his wife. - Oh, you're the wife ! Right.
Clarence, what, did you beat her or something ?
No, no. She got that playing basketball.
- What's the matter with you ? - I'm sorry.
- Why are you here ? - I'm an actor.
Dick, if you were just a fuckin' actor, you never would've got in the room.
I'm-- I'm friends with Elliot.
He's your friend ? You got problems.
All right, all right. It's all right. And Elliot knows me.
- Elliot, here. CallJoe. - Sorry.
Tell that cocksucker the production manager reports...
that he's taking 30 cents of every dollar and putting it in his own pocket.
[ Dialing ]
Don't you want to count your money ?
No, that's all right. She can count it. I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
Give it to her.
^ Well, since my baby left me ^
^ I found a new place to dwell ^
^ It's down at the end of Lonely Street ^
^ The Heartbreak Hotel ^^
- I gotta hand it to you, Clarence. - I was cool ?
Man, you were cooler than cool.
Oh, my God. I forgot my fuckin' vest.
- Stupid. - Cody, on three.
- Yeah. [ Exhaling ] - One, two, three.
- [ Crashing ] - [ Shouting Orders ]
[ Shouting Continues ]
Both of you, put the fucking guns on the floor now !
Fuck you ! All you pigs, put your guns on the floor and back away.
- Are you fucking nuts ? Just do what they say. - This is your last chance !
Fuck you ! This is your last chance ! We could kill all of you and you know it !
-Get down on the fucking floor ! -Boris, shut the fuck up.
- We're all gonna die here. These are cops. - So ? Who gives a shit ?
Something I never told you about me. I hate fucking cops !
Let's be nice, guys. Come on. Let's be nice. We don't want to die.
We don't want any of you guys to die.
You look like a blond Frankenstein. Now put your gun down !
- 21 1 ? - Yeah, 21 1 .
There you go, Mad Dog.
- Holy shit. Motherfucker. - What the fuck is goin'on ?
- Who are these guys ? Put 'em down ! - Put your fuckin' guns down !
Put 'em down, motherfucker ! Put 'em down !
Fuck you !
- [ Shouting Continues ] - Put those fuckin'guns down!
How you really think I'm doin' with Lee, huh ?
- You kidding ? He loves you. - You don't think I'm kissing his ass or anything, do you ?
You're telling him what he wants to hear. That ain't the same thing as kissing his ass.
Yeah, I mean, I saw Coming Home in a Body Bag. I loved it. I'm not lyin' to the guy.
No. That's why it ain't ass-kissin'.
What you're doin'is genuine, and he knows it.
I like you, Clarence.
- Always have. Always will. - [ Snaps Fingers ]
[ Shouting Continues ]
Put 'em down! Put 'em down, motherfuckers!
Officer Dimes. Officer Dimes.
[ Nicholson ] Put 'em down, motherfucker! Put 'em down!
- Officer Dimes ? - What ?
- Officer Dimes ? Officer Dimes ? - What ?
Um, this has nothing to do with me anymore, right ?
Okay ? So I'm just gonna leave,
and you guys just settle this by yourselves, all right ?
Just shut up and stay the fuck put, Elliot.
How do you know his name ?
Why the fuck did he know your name ?
You little piece of shit !
You can forget about acting for the next 20 years ! Your fuckin' career is over !
Take you fuckin' SAG card and burn it !
You little cocksucker !
I treated you like a son, and you fuckin' stab me in the heart !
- Fuck you ! Fuck you ! Fuck you ! - [ Screams ]
Mother-- Watch it, motherfucker !
[ Men Shouting ]
Cody !
[ Screaming ]
Son of a--
[ Shouting ]
Clarence !
[ Screaming ]
[ Groaning ]
[ Screaming Continues, Sobbing ]
[ Shouting ]
Sweetie ! Sweetie ! [ Sobbing ]
Baby !
Okay, you with the shotgun behind the couch, come out !
Guy's a wop.
I said come out from behind the couch, you fuckin' guinea, now !
[ Italian ]
I said-a come out from-a behind the couch-o, okay ? Capisce ?
- [ Speaking Italian ] - [ Sirens Wailing, Distant ]
- Nice and slow. - [ Italian ]
Shit ! The guy hit me.
Son of a bitch shot me.
Sweetie ! [ Sobbing Continues ]
- Don't you die on me ! - [ Sirens Approaching ]
You're gonna be okay.
[ Boris ] I need an ambulance!
- [ Alarm Blaring ] - Fuck you !
- No ! No ! - I'll blow this bitch's brains to kingdom come !
[ Coughing ]
I need an ambulance !
Shut up!
Fuck you ! I'm bleeding !
I'll call you a hearse.
- [ Cocks Gun ] - This is for Cody.
Fuck you !
Honey, you're alive ! [ Laughing ]
Honey !
I can't see.
[ Laughing Continues ]
Honey, you have blood in your eye.
Come on.
All right. Okay.
- [ Screaming ] - Fuck you !
I want a car to take me to the airport and a plane full of gas !
[ Screaming Continues ]
And a million bucks ! Small bills ! And--
[ Police Radio Chatter ]
Get outta my face, motherfucker!
- [ Sirens Continue ] - [ Gunfire Continues ]
[ Men Shouting ]
[ Alabama Narrating ] Amid the chaos of that day,
when all I could hear was the thunder of gunshots...
and all I could smell was the violence in the air,
I look back and am amazed...
that my thoughts were so clear and true--
that three words went through my mind endlessly,
repeating themselves like a broken record.
''You're so cool. You're so cool.
You're so cool. ''
And sometimes Clarence asks me what I would have done if he had died,
if that bullet had been two inches more to the left.
To this, I always smile...
as if I'm not going to satisfy him with a response.
But I always do.
I tell him of how I would want to die,
but that the anguish and the want of death would fade like the stars at dawn...
and that things would be much as they are now, perhaps.
Except maybe I wouldn't have named our son...
Elvis.
^^No stars in the sky ^^
^^ The night seems so dark around you ^^
^^ You won't say a word ^^
^^And wonder why no one's found you ^^
^^ Waiting for love ^^
^^Praying for love again ^^
^^Love's a heavy weight ^^
^^ Give it to me Don't hesitate ^^
^^Love's a heavy thing ^^
^^ Too heavy for one heart ^^
^^ To bring me your love ^^
^^ Give me your love again ^^
^^It's not your fault ^^
^^ One heart can never win ^^
^^It takes two hearts ^^
^^ Two hearts just to hold love ^^
^^ Two hearts ^^
^^ Two hearts just to hold your love ^^
^^ Your love ^^
^^And if your heart should ache ^^
^^Remember me ^^
^^And if your heart should break ^^
^^ Two hearts ^^
^^ Two hearts They can mend it ^^
^^Heartache ^^
^^Heartaches can be mended by love ^^
^^By love ^^
^^Love's a heavy weight ^^
^^ Give it to me Don't hesitate ^^
^^Love's a heavy thing ^^
^^ Too heavy for one heart ^^
^^ To bring me your love ^^
^^ Give me your love again ^^
^^It's not too late ^^
^^ One heart can never win ^^
^^It takes two hearts ^^
^^ Two hearts just to hold love ^^
^^ Two hearts ^^
^^ Two hearts just to hold your love ^^
^^ Your love
Subtitles ripped by Nexus23.net ;P